You’ve just experienced a breakup and morale is inevitably not in good shape. You inevitably ask yourself questions and want to recover quickly. However, it is not always easy to control how we feel. Fortunately, there are several techniques for quick healing.
So how do you better manage your fears, anger, and sadness after heartbreak? Is it possible to rediscover the joy of living, to rediscover a smile? Here are 5 tips from Tiffany Buton, from the blog “©Happiness and Books”, by manage your emotions better aftereis a termination.
1/ Controlling your emotions involves accepting your fears
A breakup is like an earthquake in our life. Indeed, everything around us is shaking, our supports are disappearing and we feel more lost and confused than ever.
So there are fears.
Fear of loneliness and fear of never being loved againAbove all.
In fact, this silence around us oppresses us and turns us into anxieties. “What ifs”, one more terrible than the other, echo in our heads and hurt our hearts, which are already in a bad state.
So, what to do to better manage your fearshow would you manage your emotions better?
That’s why I invite you from the bottom of my heart to write down all your fears. Write down everything, even if it seems childish, clumsy. Nevermind.
Because you are not here to judge yourself, but to pick yourself up. And it is important to honestly look at what is happening to you with a broken heart.
After noticing all the fears, take a moment to sit and close your eyes.
Breathe and repeat to yourself: “I accept my fears. I accept the fear. I am at a point in my life where I feel vulnerable and I embrace it. I don’t always have to be strong. I have the right to waver. But, deep in my heart, I know it will pass. It will pass. »
In other words, learn to accept your fears without holding backbecause they are just passing through.
Indeed, we all too often believe that our fears predict the future. They don’t have that power. (laughter)
So relax. Accept their presence, but don’t let them control your next decisions.
2/ You need to calm your anger in order to better manage your emotions after a breakup
While termination, anger also comes to visit us. Very often !
Rather, regularly, thinking about what happened, about what we suffer today, without being aware of it we set ourselves up as victims other.
The other becomes our executioner and we harbor a lot of anger.
The problem is that anger hurts! Knowing that after a broken heart we already feel pain, living with anger becomes more and more difficult.
So, what to do with this angerhow to manage your emotions better?
This is why I urge you with all my heart to challenge any false good reasons you have for anger.
Indeed, have you noticed that we spend time looking back on the past, on what the other did or did not do, and we think that the other did wrong, that he hurt us and that it is unfair?
In fact, we are not aware of it, but we invent all kinds of good reasons to eat ourselves up with anger.
And this anger, far from changing anything in the situation, far from changing the other person, does enormous damage to us.
That’s why it’s time to stop! Stop thinking about it, stop looking for a thousand and one reasons to be angry.
It’s normal to feel anger, but let it flow through you. Above all, don’t feed her for hours convincing yourself that the other person is the real executioner.
Because that’s not the anger you need when you’re grieving in love. No way !
So I invite you with all my heart to take a moment to breathe and repeat to yourself, “I feel anger right now. I don’t feed her. I actually just let it pass me by. Because I remember that anger only hurts me more. »
3/ Breakup Recovery Secret: Calm Your Grief Without Being Depressed
Grief helps us best in our breakup. Indeed, grief helps us slow down to experience grief, loss and reorganize in relation to it.
In other words, grief invites us to take breaks so that, little by little, we learn to accept, to tame, our interruption.
She is our ally. But let’s be careful not to cling to it with all our strength, in other words let’s be careful not to depress.
Indeed, there is a difference between grief and mourning. The difference that will make us stand up calm, even healthy, while the other will make us sink more and more every day.
So, how to better manage your grief without sinking ?
To do this, you must know how to accept sadness without holding back.
Because sadness is temporary. In fact, if you are careful, the sadness you feel only lasts a few minutes, time for a few tears. But she passes.
Then he can come back. Sometimes several times in the same day.
However, over time, it returns less and less until it disappears completely.
That’s why I invite you with all my heart to take a moment and repeat to yourself: “I accept being sad.” My sadness comes to help me get up every day, a little more. So I let go. I allow myself to cry if I feel the need. But I also know it will pass. »
4/ End your guilt to better manage your emotions
We learned to constantly question ourselves, to always point out our flaws, weak points and mistakes, and to feel guilt and even shame.
Because you have to be perfect, perfect in this life, in this world.
That’s why breaking up is so difficult, becauseinstead of taking care of ourselves, managing our emotions better, we waste time and energy blaming ourselves for mistakes. Errors that are, very often, made up.
Because we believe that the story is over, that somewhere we are to blame and that we must feel guilty.
So, in order to recover from a breakup, it is crucial not to bring our love story to an end.
Yes, it’s over. Yes, it’s sad and painful, but for all that, this story is much more than that.
Therefore, it is necessary to know rise up a little to see that there is good and beauty in your story. You may not be ready to tell yourself that right now, but it’s a reality nonetheless.
In fact, understanding this will help you stop feeding your guilt unnecessarily.
Indeed, when your emotions calm down and you can look more calmly at your breakup, then you can really understand what happened and take your share of responsibility. But not before.
Take care of yourself first, that’s what you need most.
5/ Rediscovering the joy of living, the ultimate key to managing your emotions after a breakup!
Is it really possible to feel joy after a breakup? Obviously! But how to find the joy of living?
For this it is necessary first of all allow.
Indeed, have you noticed that when we go through a difficult time in life, like a breakup, we no longer allow ourselves to laugh or even smile?
Namely, as soon as we become aware that we feel joy, we get confused and remember that we are going through a difficult moment and silence our laughter, our joy.
As if sadness, anger, fear, guilt cannot coexist with joy.
That’s the problem we tend to identify with our emotions. Indeed, we believe that anger makes us, for example, an angry person.
And so, when we feel joy, we believe that it is not for us because we are going through pain.
That’s why I invite you from the bottom of my heart to allow yourself joy. Allow yourself to laugh when you feel like it.
Because laughter and tears can coexist very well. Plus, they both help you get up in their own way.
So why stop?
Indeed, dare to experience each of your emotions without holding them back. But dare to let them cross you: your tears like your laughter.
In fact, there is no better way than any other to grieve in love. Finally Yes. It’s knowing how to manage your emotions!
AND, managing our emotions means accepting them, letting them pass through us with cheerfulness, with confidence.
You can do it. Every day, more and more, you get there and get up again. Have confidence.
Finally, I invite you to read my e-book “Manage your emotions better”. In this e-book, I reveal 5 steps you should follow to better understand, live and express your emotions and thus create, step by step, a softer, more peaceful life. I wholeheartedly recommend it to you, because you will find a lot of sweetness and joy there. It will benefit you a lot.
Thank you for reading this article.
Take care.
Tiffany Button
Happiness coach and creator of the blog “©Du bonheur et des livres”.
I teach you how to be happy in life through articles, Youtube videos, e-books, online training and coaching.
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