After a breakup, many people think that the person who decided to leave is partying, regaining his freedom, taking advantage of his youth in some cases or simply life. However, we should not generalize and think that all men and women who decide to end a relationship do so for this type of reason, in most situations the break follows a deep problem in the relationship and is not always explained by the desire to lead a celibate life in order to enjoy life’s pleasures.
What is the purpose of these explanations? It simply points you in the right direction. Because men and women decide to separate because they don’t know where they are in life. It’s not that you’re going too far, it’s not against you, it’s an accumulation of negative elements that make it difficult for your partner to imagine themselves as a couple and to invest themselves in the relationship. An angry person for whom you are not (or not fully) responsible can explain their decision.
But your feelings are still there and you don’t think that this relationship could end like this, even if your ex is in doubt. But how to react when we say to ourselves “my ex doesn’t know where he is anymore? » How can he/she make a decision that will be favorable for you? Do you need to push a little or, on the contrary, show your detachment? The answer is below!
A few days ago, the one who shared your life expressed his feelings, but as everything changed, he/she decided to break up, and the reasons are not clear, you cannot understand what could have pushed your ex-partner to distance himself. First, you need to know that your relationship is not necessarily the cause of this situation. There are external elements that can explain such a reaction.
I dealt with the question some time ago sentimental burnout in one of my articles and maybe it’s a logical explanation, but professional burnout can also affect your love life. Permeating pressure at work can make him/her want to isolate and need distance. He/she questions everything because one aspect of his/her life no longer suits him/her. There can be many explanations for his behavior, but we should not forget that the reason may be a lack of happiness in your couple.
Indeed, it is not always necessary to hide behind a job or a beautiful family to explain the change in her ex’s behavior. Sometimes it is the relationship that is destructive and forces the ex to make such a decision. Too much routine, daily fights, falling in love with another person… These differences can explain everything that happens and the fact that everything got mixed up in his head. After a few years of relationship or even a short but intense story there is always a moment of doubt, relaxation and that is what your ex is going through right now. This is what can at least partly explain the reasons for the separation.
My ex doesn’t know what he wants! Should I pressure him?
One of the most commonly used solutions to end this situation is the ultimatum. Note that I said “used” not “effective”! Because if you think he/she will come back thanks to the brace, then you’re on the wrong track…
Most of you make this mistake in returning love. After reading my article on love burnout, take the opportunity to read the one on the ultimatum to get your ex back click here.
Today, putting pressure on him is the last thing you need to think about. It is important not to create new conflicts. I am aware that you are going through an ordeal that is not easy to overcome and that you want to quickly find the hand of the one you love, but haste or the fact that you are constantly on his back, or even coercion will not help you. On the contrary, they are more likely to punish you than anything else.
There are two possible scenarios when you behave this way. First of all, your ex may accept and come back… But out of fear, not out of desire or feeling, and very quickly you’ll realize that your couple isn’t solid because it won’t be built on a solid foundation. In the second case, he/she may reject your ultimatum and decide to end the relationship. When we say ” My ex doesn’t know where he is anymore You must avoid any techniques that are too “violent”, and there are much better ones anyway.
Understand your ex’s needs to get back better!
Above all, don’t get me wrong about what I’m saying, I’m not saying that it will work if you’re patient and just wait without doing anything for him/her to miraculously come back. Reconquering love when her ex is mentally lost it is not reduced to either an ultimatum or passivity. You can take strong actions that will initially allow you to stop suffering because of his decision. The moment you are pregnant, you act according to him/her without trying to gain some height. This is a classic mistake and I suggest you step away from the situation.
In order to get rid of your doubts, it is absolutely necessary to try to understand your ex and it will pass understand the interruption and the reasons why you are going through this ordeal. I have also created a program in audiobook format to set up these first actions of analysis and I invite you to discover it in my store.
Once the separation is understood, it is easier to be able to apply the most appropriate techniques. When the ex doubts the relationship specific methods exist depending on the given reasons. It’s important to know that you shouldn’t act like the person who read this article just before you because what’s important is to keep the advice specific to your story. You will achieve this by personalizing my advice bring him/her back and get out of these questions that remain unanswered.
Sincerely,
Coach when my ex doesn’t know where he is anymore
Alexandre Cormont
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