You cheated on your partner and now you’re wondering”should I tell my partner that I cheated??”
What will happen if you tell them? Or should you keep it a secret and try to skip it?
Here are some 7 things to consider when deciding whether or not to tell your partner that you’ve been cheated on:
1. Should I tell my partner that I cheated if there is no proof
If you feel better telling your partner that you’ve been cheating on them, tell them. If you don’t feel better telling them, don’t. But remember that lying can cause harm. If you lie for a long time and then you tell them the truth, or they find out somehow (like through a deep web search), it can be embarrassing for both of you because they’ve been living with that lie too. It’s up to you what you want to do!
If your partner is someone who usually tries to avoid drama and is calm in most situations, they probably won’t react dramatically even if you tell them about your infidelity. However, if your partner is grumpy or very dramatic when stressed or angry, then you should be prepared for the worst when you tell them. If this is someone you fear could physically harm you, tell them about the infidelity by phone or email and end this abusive relationship. Contact the helpline here if you would like more advice on domestic violence.
2. Should I tell my partner that I cheated if there IS evidence
If the infidelity was recent and there is evidence that can be used against you (such as text messages or letters), or you have had a reverse phone search, you should consider disclosing the infidelity. This means that if your partner found the messages or letters, then he knows for sure that there was infidelity. If this has happened and you want to stay together, then by all means reveal the infidelity. Don’t let pride control your decisions at a time like this!
3. I cheated, but it happened in the past?
If infidelity happened in the distant past, you should think about your situation. If there is no evidence against you (such as texts or letters) and if your partner never suspected anything, it is up to you to discover the infidelity. I know it may seem better to reveal the infidelity in order to show that you are trustworthy and honest, but if your partner never suspected anything and you have given up on the infidelity, then there is no harm in giving it up.
4. I have cheated in the past AND there is evidence
If infidelity has happened in the past and there is evidence of cheating against you, but your partner has not disclosed the evidence (such as text messages or letters), then this will be a difficult situation. Some people might say that “hiding evidence of infidelity is just as bad as committing it,” but telling them that could be enough to end your relationship. If you’re trying to win back your partner’s good graces, consider not telling them. You may want to consider how much evidence there is against you and what it could mean for your relationship before you make the decision to tell your partner that you’ve been cheating on them.
5. Should I tell my partner that I cheated if he cheated on me?
If infidelity has occurred in the past and there is evidence of cheating against you and you have now cheated, then disclosure is probably the best option. In this situation, if you reveal your infidelity to your partner, he might forgive you and you can move forward together. On the other hand, if you don’t find them out and they find out, there’s a much better chance that your relationship will be over. So, if you want your relationship to continue, then disclosure is the best option for you. But maybe it’s time to ask yourself if this is the best environment for a relationship. Maybe it’s time to get the spark back.
6. It’s hard to move forward with secrets
Generally speaking, discovery is the best way to go. This gives you both a chance to move forward and resolve the issue. If you choose not to disclose, your partner could find out on their own and there is no way to know how they will react.
If you do decide to tell them, let them know that you care about them and that you want things to work between the two of you. You may be nervous about telling your partner about your infidelity, but remember that he also cares about you and wants things to work out.
7. How to tell your partner that you cheated
Just say. It may be difficult at first, but it will get easier with time. Just apologize for what you did and then reassure them that you want to work things out. Be open to their questions and let the conversation flow naturally. If they ask you a question, answer honestly and tell the truth about what happened. Don’t try to hide anything because eventually they will find out if there is any evidence against you!
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